Merry Christmas, You've Got Jetlag

Never has 8 hours time difference been so hard to adjust to. I swear I used to get over these time differences easily. I read that it's pretty standard to take "one day per time zone" in adjusting. My previous experiences must have been flukes then that the plane gods bestowed on me. Guess my luck's run out.

Speaking of plane gods, I was happy to get randomly upgraded to Club Class on my way over here- British Airways you're the best! A glass of champagne welcomed me, as I leaned back in my exaggerated reclining chair. I was handed a bag of nuts that were handpicked in Africa rather than the usual salted peanut-looking entities you get in economy and the fooood, well, I ate it. Lots of it. Duck pate, short ribs, chocolate, salad, wine (oh wait, that's a drink).

Too be honest, I was so stimulated from the excitement of Club Class I didn't even take advantage of why most people use it- to lie down at a 180 degree angle and sleep. Plus there was that darn TV screen whispering sweet nothings to me (or was that the atmosphere we were passing outside the jumbo jet?). Who needs sleep, when you've got the best entertainment that a girl could wish for- every mediocre sitcom of the last decade! It brought up that universal question again- what does Leah Remini see in Kevin James?

Okay, let's get down to the ultimate joy of Club Class, which let's face it, is (drumroll) having lots of rich people around you. Be it snoring fat guys or anxious model girlfriends, with a peppering of spoilt kids with complicated families. Ahhh, so close, yet so far....

Living the dream, even at 45,000 feet in the sky.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

Starline: Legal Stalking & Serena

Funny how when you have a visitor in town you become a tourist yourself. I'd never toured the city of Los Angeles, so I thought why not start off lightly with a tour of the stars...and their ten to fifty million dollar homes. Inspiration and fortune might transfer between the vacuum of my eyeball and those celebrity palaces. Or, at least, that was the hope.

Peering through the overly-sun-shaded Starline bus window, however, I was reminded that money doesn't necessarily buy taste. Yes, I'm being a snobby Brit but please, please Paris Hilton, when your reputation is already in the crapper, invest at least in a good architect: 'Twas a stony and beige attempt at an old, English manor and the mission had obviously failed- left protruding in a Bel Air neighborhood.

Courtney Cox's pad was stylish and I could see why Jennifer Aniston might want to move near her BFF (she's building a new house on the hill opposite even though she has two houses in town- you go girl!).

Most impressive? Well that would have to be a tie between Eddie Murphy blue glass paneled estate AND Steven Spielberg's grey stone work-in-progress. Does the latter know though that his neighbor is Britney? Now there's a comeback: Britney Spears in Spielberg's eleventh World War II saga, as an anorexic Jewess who falls in love with a self-questioning Nazi, played by David Spade. My imagination runs wild.

Tom Cruise, like the Queen of England, mounts his flag to declare that he's on the premises. It was interesting to hear the public outcry by fellow tourists on the bus to this piece of information: "What a tosser!" shouted one unimpressed Australian. Poor Cruise. In the 80s he was cool, now he gets no respect from anyone. Besides apparently me, who defended him admirably. Hey, when you're that rich and famous why not wave a bloody flag. Better than waving something else.

The Beckham estate was of course huge, white and vulgar. No sightings of Posh Spice but I'll live. It was actually a bigger house than I could ever imagine, so husband and wife must be pulling in more mega-bucks than I even believed. I wonder how their new lifestyle is treating them? Will their children get lost in all their spare rooms and corridors? Will they be here for the holidays?

I won't. I'm off to London in less than 48 hours and because of a nasty cold have not started packing or cleaning up the house as originally intended. I HAVE, however, managed to watch a marathon of Gossip Girl episodes, which confirmed my suspicions that this show is addictive. Don't hate the player, hate the game...of CW soap swankiness. I am now convinced that a little glitz and intrigue wrapped into the pilot I'm writing will help. But I'm too sick to write at the moment. I'll just sit back with soup, a shot of rum and let Serena and Blair do the talking.

Safe travels!

Starbucks: A Philosophical & Practical Mecca

With this title, I know independent coffee houses (and fans alike) are bound to boycott this blog, but let me tell you first of the little gem of a book I found at my local Western & Hollywood Buckystar. It's called "FIVE" and is written by Dan Zadra. It's a simple green hardback with laminated gold letters on the front cover saying: "Where will you be five years from today?"

Not one to believe I am necessarily unfocused or insecure that I will rule the world in five years but, hey, maybe this book, "created exclusively for Starbucks" could teach me a thing or two. Or maybe I've just become a good ol' American consumer. Whatever the case, I took a peek. Then I had a read. Then I found myself at the cash register buying the damn thing. Now I think I might end up purchasing one or two for a brother and a friend.

My favorite bits of the book:

1) Kick-ass quotes. "If you aim at nothing, you'll hit it every time." B.J. Marshall; "Most people don't aim too high and miss. They aim too low and hit." Bob Moawad; "One of my best moves is to surround myself with friends who, instead of asking, "Why?" are quick to say, "Why not?" That attitude is contagious." Oprah Winfrey

2) The Wheel of Life: Setting five year goals in all areas, not just career and wealth. Oh, there IS more.

3) Being specific. Zadra gives a great example: When you walk into a restaurant you don't just ask for some food, you pick exactly what you want from the menu. Don't just say that in the next five years you want to "be happy." Be specific and clear of what you want to order. Chances are you'll get exactly what you asked for.

4) FRIENDS. Lord knows this one spoke to me. Zadra urges us to surround ourselves with people who believe we CAN (do I hear a recent political slogan that worked!?). He also has a list of questions we need to ask about our friends including that all too honest one- "Will he/she make me want to be a better person?" You also list five people you think help you achieve your dreams and goals.

5) Every day matters: "Live every day like it's your last...because one day you'll be right."

6) Reserved for E.E. Cummings: "To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best day and night to make you like everybody else, means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight- but never stop fighting!" That's to all my actors, writers and artists out there.

This book is a great gift for anyone who might seem a bit lost or down in these troubling times (I swear Starbucks is not paying me). But it's also good for the ridiculously optimistic who want to make sure that optimism and focus stays put through the shaky holiday months of family, food and firecrackers.

"Five" will put a firecracker in your soul.

Ulcers & Abdomens

I've had a visit by the Ulcer Fairy!

Today I paid $350 for half an hour of open bar at Wednesday's event. BUT I can't drink any free stuff cause darn alcohol created boyles in my belly this weekend (well I'm sure the extravagant turkey dinners and black coffees didn't help either.)

I have to lay off ze booze for a week. Stiff upper lip.

Maybe it's God's way of saying: "Thesy, do something consciously before you board the plane back to Britain."

Yup, I'll be leaving for my annual Christmas break on Dec 21st. That's 3 weeks to...hmmm...I dunno: Save a lost puppy? Become a movie star? Initiate world peace? All 3 would be cool. How about tighter abs? That's a minor fourth.

3 weeks is too little time to move a mountain but enough time to make a difference. Aside from my usual actor-y duties and occasional writing binges I feel I should start and complete some other strange task. What could it be? Weird art? A game of squash? Lion-taming?

People, I need help. My soul is craving for the unusual, I have a strange light to share with the world. Any ideas?

To be honest, it's past midnight, my day was crammed and I'm on stomach-lining meds. This could have been the drugs talking. After all, I posted a purple fairy on a bubble (!?) with this blog.

Hmm, I'll sleep on it.