Until then, save the date for....Valentine's Day!!
Yes, on V-day you should come see this show, with a date or without, and witness a play I wrote back when I was at summer camp and my heart got broken by another camper. I will be performing with an as-of-yet undisclosed celebrity guest.
The other acts are stellar and Mortified is always a slam dunk fantastic night in general!!
Interestingly enough, with the great increase in blog viewership over the last year my video viewership has tumbled downnnn. Like, no one wants to see my videos. So there we go. I guess people in the modern age do read...
Anyway, I have no reason for this post other than to say I just saw Lindsay Lohan at "Birds" tonight and I have to say the girl looks pretty f-ing fantastic. I mean her figure and face are great, the hair may be waaay to bleach blonde, but that's an easy fix and in general, she's hot.
I think we need to stop picking on this girl. Few of us know what it's like to graduate from child actor to Hollywood paparazzi lightbulb and I still have faith that L to the Lo will make a comeback...Charlie Sheen style!!!
Although, I'll admit she was still drinking when I left the patio at midnight, so the comeback is probably not on the immediate horizon and I pray she's not doing community service tomorrow or the bodies at the coroner's may look a little cracked out if she decides to do a make up job on them. (That's where she's racking up goody points, right?)
Ah well...
Anyway, here's another whiskey shot to the most famous redheaded bleach blonde!!
Mickey: OK, I'm gonna tell ya! You had the talent to become a good fighter, but instead of that, you become a legbreaker to some cheap, second rate loanshark!
Rocky: It's a living. Mickey: IT'S A WASTE OF LIFE!
Rocky: Sure, I like her. Paulie: What's the attraction? Rocky: I dunno... she fills gaps. Paulie: What's 'gaps'? Rocky: I dunno, she's got gaps, I got gaps, together we fill gaps.
Rocky: Ah come on, Adrian, it's true. I was nobody. But that don't matter either, you know? 'Cause I was thinkin', it really don't matter if I lose this fight. It really don't matter if this guy opens my head, either. 'Cause all I wanna do is go the distance. Nobody's ever gone the distance with Creed, and if I can go that distance, you see, and that bell rings and I'm still standin', I'm gonna know for the first time in my life, see, that I weren't just another bum from the neighborhood.
Apollo's Trainer: He doesn't know it's a damn show! He thinks it's a damn fight!
Adrian: Einstein flunked out of school, twice. Paulie: Is that so? Adrian: Yeah. Beethoven was deaf. Helen Keller was blind. I think Rocky's got a good chance.
Rocky: Hey... you know how I said that stuff on TV didn't bother me none? Adrian: Yeah? Rocky: It did.
First, I saw this floating around Facebook and thought it was hilarious:
Second, a big hug to all my readers...thank you thank you thank you for reading my journals, commentary, reviews and rants this year.
My blog viewership went up 1000% in 2011 and almost 2000% on the most popular posts. And though I'm no Perez Hilton ratings-wise, it totally re-invigorated me to keep doing what I do on this site.
Here were the trends:
* The most views were in January, August and October...with December hot on their tail.
* Based on these wide range topic statistics this combo-monkey blog will keep dancing :)
It has been suggested that I write a novel about my bizarre experiences in 2011. But I won't. Instead here's a chirpy slideshow (thanks KST for some of the pics):
I wish you all the best for 2012, may all your dreams come true!!
And for me...well I'll keep on typing here and, as far as any other resolutions go, this guy speaks my mind right now. (FYI he's the best acting teacher in LA).
I also left the Arclight today having watched Meryl Streep's brilliant performance of the controversial Iron Lady, whose younger version at one point passionately spouts out:
"Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live."
(Dennis Miller)
"I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark."
(Dick Gregory)
"The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other."
(Johnny Carson)
And...
"Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childish days; that can recall to the old man the pleasures of his youth; that can transport the sailor and the traveller, thousands of miles away, back to his own fire-side and his quiet home!"
No London this year, my friends, the fam is in L.A. I could write a sitcom based on this concept but some things need to be kept, well, all in the family.
So while the Surfaces get ready to watch Chelsea vs Tottenham tomorrow in some random Hollywood pub (might have to v-log that one cause it's bound to be entertaining), here are some random updates:
1) Based on a recent blood test I found out I'm Vitamin D deficient. I live in sunny California and drink lattesall the time. Wtf?
2) I entered my first ever screenwriting competition with a TV pilot and made the first finalists. Yay! Weirdly enough, my brother made it too, though he's really good and has been rocking all the competitions with a Nolan-ish saga. Please, please, pleasssse let ONE of us make it to Sundance.
3) LAist who interviewed me a while back misses me on IASIP. That's nice. To be missed for facial hair.
4) Never thought I'd say this but I'm bizarrely happy to not be in London this year. I've had fun chilling with friends in the 'Wood, gotten more writing done, and in all fairness LDN is so much greater in the summer. 2012 goal...to make it to Britannia...then.
5) Sherlock Holmes sequel = Robert Downey Jr + Jude Law = Dreamboat HEAVEN. Can't wait to see it!!!
Brew me a cup for a winter's night. For the wind howls loud and the furies fight; Spice it with love and stir it with care, And I'll toast our bright eyes, My sweetheart fair. (Minna Thomas Antrim)
I'm a little sick (only the 2nd time this year) but I've been knocking back the DayQuil & NyQuil to avoid full flu status and so far, it's worked!!
"Who cares, Thesy. I just wanna hear about the mothaf**king concert!!"
Okay, okay kids...
WATCH. THE. THRONE.
It was a good show, it was even a great show but, my friends, it was not an EPIC show. Epic means it needs to blow. my. mind.
Instead, The Throne had moments of pure genius, of 110% grandeur and then moments of...uh...seen-it-before-on-any-awards-show.
And wanna know what sh*t's really cray? Kanye and Jay-Z both sparkled not together but separate.
In fact, most of the time, I was unconvinced of the chemistry between J & K (that sounds like a hardware store) because something just wasn't meshing in the duets of the first 20 minutes. Jay-Z definitely outshone Kanye in voice, in presence, in rhythm, he acknowledged the crowd, he was the graceful old Lion, ruling the jungle...but still...something was missing.
Then Kanye hit the stage by himself and wow, people, wow! What came out of Mr. Ego morphed him into the most truthful, emotionally outpouring musician I've ever seen. On the radio, Kanye sounds like a better rapper than singer, not the case live. Live the man can siiiiing. (Btw, is it ironic I saw him on Taylor Swift's birthday? Uh, yes.)
Kanye paid homage to MJ (me love) and he rattled out some preacher-style inspiration "humble, humble, everyone's told to be humble but how many people are told 'be awesome' or 'be great'...don't you ever let anyone bring you down!"
"Jesus Walks" was one of K-man's best performances. He danced across the stage and belted into the mike, creating a real religious experience at the Staples Center. And then when he sang "Runaway" under blood-red lights!? The guy just oozed sensitivity, chanting "every time I told my friends I didn't love you I lied" over and over again, gospel-style.
Then on comes Jay-Z for some solo action and, again, separate from his concert homie, he was so f-ing good!! It might just be that he was more at home with the old stuff but Jay-Z rose up to his rightful status as hip-hop god.
It wasn't all uneventful when J & K were together. The best was when they were all simple and Jay-Z said "let's take this back to the stoop." At that point there was some low-key chemistry going. And great! I'm all about the simplicity and keeping it real but also Carter and West when your concert is called WatchThe Throne I kinda wanna see...a mothaf**king THRONE!!
A few TV screens, lights and puffs of fire are cool but come on peeps, can we have some more show sh*t going on??
Yes, the reason I can't label it "epic" is because the concert as a whole was not visually that. When I go to an event there should be magic that I don't hear on albums and or see on music videos streaming on my oh-so-dusty laptop...there should be spectacle! Especially from two guys who call themselves and are the kings of hip hop. I expect majesty from beginning to end and don't wanna leave the Staples Center saying "oh, those bits in the middle were great."
Btw, if you think I'm the only one who feels this way (and let's face it, I often am) I will say that a significant collection of people left the concert before the encore and during the encore. Prince would not let that happen. There are no "early-goers" at Prince.
Yes, the ten time encore of "That Sh*t Cray" from N***as In Paris might not have been the one to put on repeat but hot damn, the first few encores were a blast and otherwise, well, it dragged.
Granted I wasn't at the very front because if I'd been right by the stage, I probably would have gone insane like the collection of people down there and I wished at that moment I was with them, so I could get more absorbed by the grand finale.
I'm aware that I'm a white middle-class girl from London so what the do I know about directing a rap concert to epic proportions but...screw that!! You know what? I'll take Kanye's advice:
Dear Mr Curtis and Mr West,
If you ever need a music loving opinionated female to direct your show please contact me because I really really love you guys and really really love your music and I can picture the next show in my head I really think I can make your next concerts not just good, not just great, but legendarrrrrrrry!!
Yours sincerely,
Tay-Z
P.S. A surprise guest like Rihanna or Alicia Keys or anyone might closen the epicness gap.
